Thoughts

My morning devotions in My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers have been challenging me in a really great way. This is what's been going on in my thoughts and my heart.

I have a job. I have a task to do. My job as a worker of God is to go where He sends me "...to open their eyes, so that they may turn from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in Me." Acts 26:18

I can't speak for other people, but I think it's true a lot of people are in the same boat. I only took the first step for a while. I was converted. My eyes were open. For a majority of Christians in America, their eyes are open. They've made the first step. At least, I think they're open. I thought mine were. Looking back, I wonder how my eyes were open yet I didn't fall to my knees in complete surrender. Maybe only one eye was open? Anyways...I was converted. I believed in God. I knew what He had done for me. 

But then what? 
I didn't know. 

Be a "Godly" person, whatever that looks like. Confess my sins I guess and try to be nice to people. That's what Christians do, right? I thought so. But being converted isn't the same as being saved. Those who are converted haven't received anything yet. They think they can still do this whole life thing on their own.

I was baptised when I was 10 years old. But I don't think I fully understood the weight of what that meant until I was older. It means I was born again. It meant I had received this precious gift. It meant all my sins are forgiven - past, present and future. It is not based on my decision. No vows. No promises. Not getting up in the morning to pray and read my Bible. That's all well and good. But it's not salvation.

Salvation is receiving a gift from the Almighty God on Jesus' authority. That gift is the forgiveness of sins.

I can look like a Christian all I want on the outside. I can wear a cross necklace, read my Bible, go to Bible study and church all I want. I can make vows and promises to do good things and be a better person. And it means nothing.

Nothing.

If I hadn't received this gift. This gift of salvation. I'd be fooling myself. I'd be completely dead inside without it. When God cleanses all sin, He means ALL sin. Not just the sins I'm aware of, the unconscious ones as well. He knows parts of me that I don't even know I have. I am much more vast and deep than I give myself credit for. And God is much bigger than that. My soul is complex and confusing to me, yet He wipes away all sins, even if I don't know I have them. Because with His Holy Spirit living inside me, I am able to appear blameless. Blameless! Until Jesus returns! Oh how I cannot wait for that day.
 
I'm only now realizing what living a sanctified life through Christ looks like. Thank the Lord He's finally gotten through to me!

He beckons me to come and die. Sanctification means I deliberately give up my right to myself.
Every. Single. Day.

"Don't wear one on your chest if you don't bear one on your back." -Andy Mineo, Christian rapper   

 I can imagine, when Jesus entered Jerusalem and the crowds rejoice over Him. He pulls me aside. And points down the road where there's a cross waiting for Him.  There's no Hilton hotels or drive-thru Starbucks between here and there. He's going and I'm learning that I must follow. Wherever that may be.

The only thing worth having is life with Him. He wants me to be identified with His death so that I can sacrifice my life to Him. He wants me alive. Alive for Him alone. I try to sacrifice my time and energy for God. But those aren't living things. He wants ME. MY LIFE. Not just certain aspects or areas of it. 

It's one thing to have open eyes and receive His priceless gift of salvation. He is faithful! And I have received what He has freely given me! Praise be to Him alone!
...But there is more to the path.  And He is leading me down through Jerusalem where the cross awaits. He asks me to deliberately give up myself. To give myself away to Him. 

To come.

And die.

And pick up my cross, not just wear one around my neck. 

Come and give your lives, He says, lose them even. 
 
"If we can trust God to save us, we can trust Him to lead us." -David Platt

sidenote: Chris Tomlin's new album Burning Lights is really good. I'm not always a huge fan of contemporary Christian music. But I've had it on repeat the last few days.