One Week 'Til Project Laz!

One week from today I'll be waking up in New Orleans! 

It's hard for me to believe. It's almost finally here! I have some mixed feelings about it (which include some anxiety and nervousness) but mostly excitement! It's about 5% nervous, 95% absolute excitement!

For the entire week of my Thanksgiving break I'll be going down to New Orleans to work with Project Lazarus. It's for this really great thing that JMU does called the Alternative Break Program. Basically, they set up different trips that students can go on over their breaks for an affordable cost where they do community service learning. I didn't even know this existed until this year, and I wish I'd known sooner! Oh well, at least I'm going on a trip this year! I'm going down with a team of 10 people - 7 student participants, 2 student leaders and 1 learning partner.  I didn't know anyone else that was going on the trip before the trip meetings. Kind of risky! But I think this risk is going to turn out to be incredible. At least I'm hoping. 

Project Lazarus is the oldest and largest residential facility in New Orleans that houses people that have tested positive for HIV/AIDS. It really is like a house, so the residents feel like they have a place to call home.  It provides all levels of care to the residents depending on what stage they are in of the disease. The average stay of a resident is 12 months and more than 1,000 men and women have called Lazarus home. Men and women come to Lazarus if they don't have the money, have no where else to go, have been shunned by their family and friends because of the stigma of being positive, etc. Project Lazarus provides love and companionship to these people, along with the care they desperately need. 

I'm not entirely sure what working with Project Lazarus will entail. And I'm not sure that it really matters. I'll be doing whatever is needed. That could be chores around the house, running errands or playing games with the residents, or simply having a conversation with them to keep them company. I'm up for anything. I just hope I can be helpful in some way. 

I'm trying to not let my anxiety and nervousness get the best of me. I know the only reason I'm anxious and nervous is because I don't know what to expect. I don't know what's going to happen or what it's going to be like. 

I don't have any control.

And that can be a scary thing for me. The control freak that I am. I have zero control over this. I'm trying to enjoy that instead of being intimidated by it.  This is a pretty big risk (at least for me) to go on a trip with people I don't know, to an unfamiliar city, with a population of people I've never worked with before. I've been clenching so tight to hold on to what little control I have, but it's only wearing me down with worry. 
And I feel like God's been saying - it's time let go, I've got you, just enjoy the ride. Which I'm gradually starting to realize is what he's been saying about my whole life. 

So I've decided I'm going to enjoy the unknown, not fear it. Starting with this trip. 
And what made me want to go on this trip? I honestly don't really know. I read about alternative breaks in an e-mail, which is actually pretty lucky because I usually don't read JMU e-mails (because we get about 15 a day). But something told me to actually read this one. And I'm so glad I did. So I looked up the possible breaks. Maybe this sounds corny, but the second I read about Project Lazarus I knew it was for me. Love at first sight if you will? I don't know what it was, but I was drawn to it. So I put my name in the lottery for a break...

Side note: they pick participants for alternative breaks through a lottery process. They have so many people that want to go, they have to pick randomly. If that doesn't say something about the heart for service JMU has, I don't know what does. There are always people who don't get to go on a trip. Honestly, I think that's a great problem to have. There are so many people that want to give up their time to serve, they all don't get to go. Beautiful. Just another reason why I love my school.

...So I put my name in the lottery for a break. I didn't allow myself to get my hopes up. I knew very well my name could not get called. So I went to the lottery, and waited, but not for long. My name was the 5th one called. 

I think that was the happiest moment of my college career so far. To hear my name called. Knowing that I was going to New Orleans. I didn't realize how much I secretly wanted this trip until I actually got it. I called my parents trying not to cry. That's how much I'd wanted it. Such a happy moment. 

Funny enough, I was sitting in the library the other day procrastinating on work when I came across this article about a spring break trip JMU took to New Orleans. 
Spring into Service in the Big Easy  
 This may sound ridiculous, but after reading it I was sitting in the library tearing up. It made my heart so happy to read about what JMU students got to do over spring break. And it helped calm my fears and anxiety about my thanksgiving break trip. 

There is one part at the end of article where they talk about the residents lives and how they were doing. What they said really stayed with me.
~"These people have really lived full lives although many are not physically old," said Steele. She credits the residents for inspiring her to explore what it means to live each day to the fullest. "When we asked one resident how he was, he replied, 'blessed that I woke up this morning,'" said Steele. "We take for granted that we are going to wake up each day and go."~

Blessed that I woke up this morning.

I'm already in love with Project Lazarus and I haven't even arrived or met one resident yet.   

Please pray for me.  For our team. Pray for safe travels there and back. For the work we'll be doing. Pray for positive attitudes. For hearts full of service ready to be emptied. But most of all, pray for the residents. Because the week we'll be there isn't about us, it's about them.